what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
