I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Come see our sink grown plant.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
