we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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