Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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