Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
