i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
