So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
