some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
