what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
