my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
