just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
