at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
