is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
