waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
