Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
