Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
