I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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