ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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