I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
