I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
