it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
