I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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