Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
