When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
