one might say we're banned from that church
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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