The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
