ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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