I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
