don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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