Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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