I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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