Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
