My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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