I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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