suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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