how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
