I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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