Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
