Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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