I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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