I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
