dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
