My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
