Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
