I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
