I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
