i permit you to call me
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
