:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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