But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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