about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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