Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize