i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
