everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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