I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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