Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I am puke
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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