Sry I called you an 8
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize