If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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