No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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